With Agenda…

I have a confession to make. It may surprise you or it may make me just say “yeah, that’s about right”. The confession is:

Pastors are usually not great disciples of Jesus.

I know, I know, you think I am about to do what my generation does best. You think I am going to rant and complain about how the “Western church” is all out of whack and too caught up on religion and not enough about people and Jesus.

Well, that’s not exactly what I mean.

What I mean is, we aren’t get disciples because we go into things with too much of an agenda. I haven’t considered this much over the years, but since we got into what is called the “Pre-Launch” phase of this plant, I realized it is true for me. The thing is, I realized that for years, ever since I have become a pastor or even a teacher of scripture I have used my Bible study time to help me be a better teacher and not to become closer to my God who created and died for me.

I realized that for the past 7-8 years every time I open scripture, whether I mean to or not, I end up thinking “Now THAT would make an amazing sermon!!” or “man, my high schoolers could really benefit from that!” Or I even go into it with the reason of sermon or lesson research and I read God’s Word from a perspective of what I can USE IT FOR and not how I can GROW FROM IT.

Now that we are in the pre-launch phase, I am noticing that when I open the Bible, it has become about my relationship with God and not what I can use to teach others. I have gotten in this rhythm where I am going through the Gospel of John chapter by chapter and I am actually getting re-acquainted with Jesus. Some things I am noticing are just brand new. I noticed that as I pray for all these new people in this new city that I am praying for them personally. I am not praying that they would be used by my church (necessarily) but that God would just use me, Matt, to speak life into them. Not Matt that Pastor at ____church, but Matt the father and husband who is new in town and is only here to love people beyond reason.

I also noticed in this phase that while I have always loved people, I have often loved people with an agenda. If someone missed church a week or two I would call them up and give the classic “we really missed you yesterday”, when of course, I had an agenda to do so. I not only wanted them to grow as a follower of Jesus, but I also wanted me to be the one to do it. I even (dare I say it) wanted them to come so that we could have a better attendance (pastors don’t think about that sort of thing! do they?). Now, if serve someone or meet someone, I get to love them because Christ loved me 1st. I have nothing to invite them to. I have no program or event to keep them accountable to attend, I just kind of let the Spirit work through me to show how I can best represent him in our lives.

This time is helping refocus on people and God. It’s helping me realize that people aren’t stats. They aren’t charts and they aren’t sermon illustrations. They are children of God that are made in his image with stuff to do for him in their path. they are individuals with strengths, weaknesses, hopes, fears and most of all a journey with a history so rich and important than I cannot help but learn pray for.

It is obvious that God doesn’t live in programs, he lives in relationships. he isn’t the God of attendance or curriculum, he is the God of love and community.

For you pastors I would say this, pray about a way that you could eliminate your agendas in love and communion with God. For everyone else, keep watch of how you relate to God and people. Are they topics? Beliefs? Or are they living and active forces that you cannot help but be madly in love with?

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